What’s a world without garlic?

Life is hectic and hard. And you often have to rely on just yourself to get through the slog of it all, with your head held high like you don’t have a care in the world, like the badass that you really are. But you know what’s always there for you when you need it the most? That’s right – garlic.

Now, some people don’t like garlic. I don’t get that. Are you people at all? (This is not me judging you, I’m honestly curious.) When I find a recipe that calls for garlic, I at least double whatever it calls for. When I find a recipe that doesn’t call for garlic, I include it and wonder if the author is actually a human being. (See, above. It’s not a judgment.) Are you a vampire?

Let me share with you two of my favorite garlic recipes that I usually make at least once a week because, again, life is hard. I’ve ramped up the garlic in both, so if you don’t like that much spice, or that much breath, or you have to talk to other people (remember: I work from home), then maybe chill it out a bit. Also, there are a few things that have a constant presence in my life (er, kitchen): liquid aminos (great sub for soy sauce), nutritional yeast, and raw, unfiltered apple cider vinegar. Both of these recipes call for that, so just go ahead and invest already.

As for the garlic, I can go through a lot of it in a week. Find you a friend who has a Costco membership and will bring you bags of garlic in lieu of wine or as a nice “thinking of you” pressie. Or get yourself a Costco membership. But if you’re hooked on that g-stuff (garlic), this is the most cost-effective way to live your life.

Roasted Garlic Sauce

This is great to pour over a bowl of rice and roasted veg for an easy dinner or lunch. Or water it down a bit more for a salad dressing. Or put it on a spoon and enjoy it that way. It’s the sauce you didn’t know was missing from your life. I have actually started to bring this as a host gift when I go to people’s houses: “Hello, thank you for having us this evening. Here is some dayum good sauce. I’ll need the tupperware back.”

  • 2+ roasted bulbs of garlic (I use 4-5 bulbs cos, garlic)**
  • 5 1/2 tablespoons tahini
  • Juice from a lemon
  • 2 tablespoons soy sauce (or liquid aminos or Tamari)
  • 1 tablespoon + 1 teaspoon maple syrup
  • 1 1/2 tsp sesame oil
  • 1/3 cup water (or less for thicker consistency)
  • Salt & pepper to taste
  • And I use red pepper flakes because I use those in absolutely everything I eat

Blend. Let sit for a few hours in the fridge. Consume.

**to roast garlic, preheat the oven to 400. Make small squares of foil and rub a light bit of EVOO on the foil. Cut the top 1/4 of the bulbs of garlic off and remove the extra paper from the garlic. The tops of the garlic cloves should be showing, but the bulbs themselves are still intact. Wrap each bulb individually in the foil and seal it. Bake in the oven for 30 min. or so.

(I adapted this from A Virtual Vegan. That original recipe is great too. Because really, when I say “adapted” I meant I was too lazy to do the entire recipe every time so I just made it slightly less involved for myself.)


Super Garlic Kale “Salad”

I call this “salad” because it’s so much more than just salad. It does everything you need it to: eat it as your main meal, put it on top of an everything bagel + cream cheese + sundried tomatoes + capers+ red onions, let it fix your car. I think this is supposed to make like 8 servings or some lie like that.

  • 4 TBSP liquid aminos
  • 4 TBSP lemon juice (I have really just started to use the juice from 1-1.5 lemons cos no one has time to measure out lemon juice)
  • 4 TBSP tahini
  • 4 TBSP raw unfiltered apple cider vinegar
  • 8 TBSP nutritional yeast
  • Garlic cloves roughly chopped for the flavor you want (I use 9 cloves, cos garlic. But seriously, I’m not a beginner, Folx. Do this at your own peril. Maybe start at 4 or 5 cloves)
  • Red pepper flakes. Again, these go into every dish I ever make.
  • 2 bags of chopped kale (you can get 2-3 bunches of kale and hand tear it into bite-sized pieces, but this is 2018. Stop showing off and buy the bagged stuff)

Blend all the ingredients except the kale together. Pour the sauce over the kale and massage. I do this in batches so I can make sure all the kale is covered and gets massaged (kale life is hard, too). Let sit, refrigerated, for at least an hour before consuming. Sprinkle sesame seeds or everything spice on top before eating. Try to avoid other people for the next day or two.

What I love too about this recipe, is that it’s so easy to remember. It’s 4-4-4-4-8 and if you have a shite memory like me, this is a blessing.

(The original inspiration for this cure-it-all is from Whole Foods. I haven’t seen the original since that fateful day in Houston, but I thank ye heartily for the experience.)


4 thoughts on “What’s a world without garlic?

  1. Hello:

    I love garlic too. Thanks for following my blog. I am Indian, so I have a lot of Indian recipes on my blog. Many of these recipes are just naturally vegan. Some of the recipes are vegetarian but they can be easily modified into vegan. That’s just the way they are because so many people in India do not eat meat. I myself grew up without eating meat so I am not used to eating it.

    By the way, I like your writing style. It is honest and makes me smile.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s